Christ in the Desert

So plans changed. Of course they did; it's one of the few things you can predict!
I took highway 84 from Santa Fe north, with the plan of hitting 160 and heading west to Moab, UT. Hwy 84 takes you along the robust Chama river-which, after being in such dry country for so long, is mesmerizing in its vivacity and freshness. Without planning it, I managed to take myself to a bunch of places my beloved aunt Margo had recommended going (she lived in NM for a number of years). I spent time in the unearthly (meaning a bit strange) village of Abiquiu and visited the Benedictine Abbey of "Christ in the Desert", which was also...a different, though beautiful, experience for me. I managed to enter the chapel as the congregation-of maybe 10-12 monks and the sprinkling of visitors that had happened by that day-began to sing the psalms of that hour and day (there's a very specific set of psalms for different seasons and times of day, I later learned). I picked up the book of psalms and sang along, mostly because I prefer the experience of participating over that of watching from afar.
Now, my spiritual foundation (Hinduism) is based in there being nothing separating one from God (except one's own belief in there being separateness), and there is also no intrinsic evil. The psalms I sang with the Benedictine monks begged God not to stand so far off, to forgive us for our sins and to right the sinner's assumption that he'll be getting off scott free. The experience of taking on these beliefs temporarily by singing them was an interesting one; you find that your body lets you know how it feels about new information; I felt afraid and alone, and sort of naked after the 30 minutes or so I spent there. Though it wasn't a fire and brimstone sort of lecture, I did feel more able to understand the fear that drives the actions of some. Not to say that my way is better...its just different. The monastery is amazing in its architecture and environmental savvy--they're over 20 miles from town on a 15 mi/hr. dirt road, and they're totally self sufficient.
I spent a night on Abiquiu Lake...a tremendously powerful place, even though the lake is a product of damming the Chama. I found the campsite, bookmarked it in my head and decided to drive further without reason. It was like being pulled by a tractor beam. In a few minutes, I found myself in front of this huge, dark mesa that dominated the land for miles with its presence. I decided to draw it. It was the only thing I felt I could do to honor its magnifiscence enough.
The next day I asked the campsite host what the name of that mesa was. He said, "Oh that's Padernal. The Indians say it's the center of the Earth." I've got to say, it sure felt like it.
Later that day I found that I was at Ghost Ranch, the ranch in the desert that Georgia O'Keefe (who inspires me to no end as a free, strong woman who painted Nature's extravagant beauty) visited frequently and eventually moved to. Many of her paintings come from that place, and it resonates with a kind of kinetic mystery...I was entranced. Spent a few hours there just walking around, looking at the towering red earth everywhere.

I crossed the border of New Mexico into Colorado that day and fell in love. Ever since I was a little girl, I had talked about living in Colorado and raising horses on a big ranch. I'd never been to Colorado, nor do I remember even seeing pictures of it, but somehow, it really is one of the most gorgeous places I've ever been. I just may live here some day. And there are horses EVERYWHERE.
An amazing opportunity fell into my lap the day I got here (which is Pagosa Springs, CO). I sauntered into a little gallery in town and left with a very good chance that I may get to show a few pieces there in July! I walked in with absolutely no intention of making this happen; just wanted some inspiration, but the gallery owner happened to be in and we spoke for gosh, two hours. I showed her my portfolio book (THANK YOU, Auntie Mala for that idea, and THANK YOU Keith for making it happen!!!) and she said that if I applied asap, she'd love my work on their walls.
SO, I've spent the last six days here, painting the mountains in this area (figuring that 1. I do actually want to sell some work since I'll be putting some money down to display it, 2. tourists will be the ones buying most likely, and 3.this place is GORGEOUS and worth painting.) I put my application in the next day. Now just waiting to see what the review committee says.
So, no Moab for now. I plan to drive north to Ouray and Telluride to spend some time painting those mountains. Then I'll go back to Santa Fe to meet up with Amanda and Tara, where we shall have a blast in the desert. Moab after that. Maybe.

Temple Mountain

So I have arrived back in the Southwest. My first two days back were spent in the gracious ward of friends I was introduced to by a friend in Canyon. They're of that caliber of person that you meet and become instant family with. They showered me with gifts (both physical and intellectual and spiritual), shared their arts with me, graced with me with a total resort experience in their gorgeous home and educated me in the rich treasure available for experience and painting in the Southwest. I left their company feeling completely rejuvenated, enriched, nourished. What a blessing. Hoping to return the love when they visit Canyon soon.
I've been camping these last 3 days; it's completely marvelous. Lots of unpredictable weather here; seems like it'll be a warm, clear day and 4 minutes later the wind blasts in rain-pregnant clouds and sky ripping thunder--and you find yourself in the company of numerous magical puddles in your poorly water-proofed tent. But it's incredibly beautiful. I spent a night in Lockett Meadow in the San Francisco Mountains near Flagstaff, AZ. Did a hike into the Inner Basin-it felt like pilgrimage to a temple, as perhaps you can see from the pictures. The next day I drove all the way to Santa Fe-which was really a long drive-and stopped in Petrified National Forest where I was rendered almost unconscious by the geological majesty of the Painted Desert. Spent the last two nights in the Santa Fe National Forest, which has been sweet and cozy. Started raining today; cold, overcast. The plan is to head out to Moab, UT to paint for a few weeks at Arches NP, Green River Overlook/Island in the Sky and the Needles section. Probably won't have much internet access during this period, so love to you all, and may peace and compassion be with you:)

Farewell Sedona

My days in Sedona are drawing to a close. I'll be leaving tomorrow for the airport in Phoenix to make it to a friend's wedding. Vision Questing will continue when I return to Phoenix on May 27th.
A couple days ago I went for a hike though the "Red Rock Secret Mountain Wilderness" (really-that's what it's called!). The West Fork Trail goes along Oak Creek through Oak Creek Canyon, averaging at about 1,000 ft. down into the canyon. It was absolutely spectacular.
The smells, the majestic rock shooting up like great walls of carved
bone or marble all venetian red; I was definitely in one of the Lands of Faerie. It was so nourishing to spend some real time frolicking in nature. Painting in nature is an intimate and gratifying experience, but you are working, and usually sitting or standing. It was good to run and leap and explore wildly.


A notable part of the adventure was a field of the most interesting...webs. At least that's what your eyes tricked you to think at first, but on the double take ('cause they're too big to be spider webs), you find that they're really sacs with MASSIVE CATERPILLAR-LOOKING THINGS squirming around inside.
No one else on the trail knew what they were, though there were some very hornet-looking insects seeming to keep guard just in that area; or maybe they were feasting? I've never heard of hornets evolving from caterpillars...anyone have any clues?


I made a friend: Austin. He was headed for the full depth of the canyon-14 miles, and was planning to take 4 days to backpack in and back. I tagged along like a little puppy, asking him question after question about how he prepared himself for his venture; I was incredibly envious. His pack weighed maybe 40 lbs., with stove, tent, sleeping bag, food, fishing gear and clothes all magically stuffed inside. A modern day (male) Mary Poppins.

I've mostly finished two 24"x 36" paintings of Sedona's breath-taking red rock, as well as a poster for the music festival, "Womansong" put on by the brilliant singer songwriter Amanda West. I am lucky enough to be invited as Guest Artist for this event by the Big Sur Spirit Garden, and am planning for it to be the first show of the work from this trip when I get back (mark your calendar: 8/15! Come hear/see: http://www.myspace.com/amandawestmusic). I have also nearly finished a business card design for a client (and dear friend:) ), and will be done with a website piece for webmaster Keith Garrett (he built my website: http://shivanirajan.com.) This is part of a series of sites he's producing-they'll be gorgeous and very full of pithy mind-fodder.

This time has been grounding, full of discipline and hard work, and incredibly freeing. Last night I was sitting on the little swing outside on the porch listening to the crickets, looking out to the chapel close to the house. I never did go there, but just the sight of it is beautiful and gives some sense of peace and reflection, whatever one's faith (or non-faith).

Words are so small no matter the cleverness of their arrangement; when it comes to expressing the magnitude of what I have to be grateful for, I just have to let it play through my heart to my face, and smile it out.
Bye for now, will post more once I return to Arizona.

Tofurky kilbasa

The last few days have been spectacular. I've been working hard on 5 art projects for friends and loved ones; business cards, two website art pieces, a poster and a birthday present...let alone the two 24" x 36" paintings that I'm finishing now of Sedona. It's been so wonderful to be so immersed in art! This time has been very much about discipline; I've been getting up at about 5-5:30 every morning to finish my meditation and house/kitty chores in time to get out of the house to paint early enough to miss the heat. Then I come back, rest for a little bit, and get working on the Projects.
I've been enjoying cooking for myself. I don't know why everyone always says they eat poorly when they are on their own...I'm diggin' it! Sometimes I just have a voluptuous smoothie for lunch. Sometimes I do up these incredible Tofurky kilbasas that Keith turned me on to--oh! You've gotta try them. They're really delicious. Slice one in half, saute it on both sides, cut it up and put it in with beans and rice on a blue corn tortilla with cheese, pico de gallo, avo and sprouts, and you're goood.
Anyway. I've been enjoying my time here immensely. Have decided for the sake of having enough time to finish the projects I'm working on as well as have some restful/inner time, I'm not putting myself out there much. In fact, I'm sort of avoiding other people. In a nice way.
I'm waking up feeling cheerful. I always feel like that's such a gauge of what my life is like, and it's a really nice feeling to have it be as it is right now.
I'm incredibly grateful.

Accepting headphones...

Got up early today and headed back to Cathedral Rock to keep working...it was wonderful to be there early in the day; shady, much less foot traffic, and I broke down and listened to music as I painted. I usually don't when I'm outside because Nature is filled with music, but I did it and I enjoyed it for three reasons:
1.) Headphones make peace with the excruciatingly large family of bugs that buzz in your ears because it's apparently necessary for their survival.
2.) It tells passersby that I'm not...available
3.) I can focus better with music playing.

Art is so incredibly healing and deep. And it's work. It's a wonderful combination.
I went further into uptown Sedona yesterday; went up to Flagstaff via Oak Creek Canyon. Oak Creek Canyon was beautiful, very green and the creek is delightfully cold.
Uptown Sedona on the other hand is...well, terrible. Really cheap (in taste, not $ of course), run-of-the-mill touristy places. Sedona is such an incredibly spiritual place, it's sad to see it juxtaposed with such an low level of consciousness. Oh well, I guess. One thing that's cool about things that are terrible is that you can really appreciate improvement when it happens. Maybe it will here.

Wait and Salivate

So I painted today. It was AMAZING!!! I got a sunburn, I ran up and down a big ridge 4 times getting things I'd forgotten at the bottom, the wind was blowing everything away, and it was just RAD. I'm not going to take a picture of the painting for you; you'll just have to wait and salivate. But I'm stoked that the red rock was willing to lend itself to me for a few hours.
I also finally found a local printing place that'll do my business cards relatively quickly and cheaply. And I went back to the library and liberated them of a pilates DVD, "The Brave One" and (heheh) "Dreamgirls". Saw "Michael Clayton", "Capote" and "Music and Lyrics" last time. Seems like a good idea to balance the serious ones with some definite silly ones. The library's been very good to me. I polished off Neil Gaiman's "Anansi Boys" over the last two days...I highly recommend it. Really anything he's written. He's fabulous. I've got a thing for witty, imaginative writers, I'm finding.
Sedona is turning out to be pretty cool. The people are generally really friendly and don't feel too judgmental or...you know...messed up (whatever that means). I met a wonderful lady named Roberta who's an artist and owns a gallery with works by local artists uptown. I think I wanted to give her a hug four times during the 20 minutes we talked; she was so delightful.

I feel those barnacles falling off...feel a bit shinier, a bit more bright-eyed, and happy in general. I strongly feel that anyone in a human body should do things like this now and then. It's like taking supplements. But its guaranteed to work.

Love you all...

Play

I explored the red rock around me today. It was marvelous. I've felt a bit cooped up, and dashing around in the desert was just what I needed. Everything is much more sensitive here (ecologically speaking); I reined in my glee (just to a degree, of course) so as to remain respectful in step.

I've Googled the local library and am on my way there after this computer moment...need more reading material! Just finished "The Graveyard Book" by Neil Gaiman (Thank you Stan!!). Dug it. He can't help but be a good story teller. The freedom of being here is sinking in.
I feel great.